– Looking for a way to avoid money fights and falling deeper into debt? Well, we’ve got just the process for you. – This is the behind
the scenes look on how we eliminated $90,000 in
debt outside of our mortgage. – And if you want to see how we fell into that $90,000 in debt,
check out this video here. For the best marriage
advice, give us a like, subscribe and hit the bell to be notified when we post a new video every Wednesday. – (Danielle) Hi, my husband and I co-founded Intentional Marriages and I’m excited to have him here today. This is Russ. – Hello everyone? And this video is about
proactive financial lesson we implemented after hitting
rock bottom with our finances. – So, for you newlyweds
or engaged couples even it’s really important to
have a process in place, and we’re going to share this process of what’s really helped us
when we hit rock bottom pull out of that deep, deep debt. – As I mentioned in this video here, 41% of Gen Xers and 29%
Millennials said that they divorced over financial issues. – Needless to say, it’s
important to be on the same page when it comes to
finances with your spouse. – Except for the problem
with us is that we were on the same page, but
we were on the same page about making a mistake. – Yes, unfortunately. – (Russ) Comment below, how
do you and your spouse stay on the same page when it comes to finances? – It’s a difficult question if you haven’t had some kind of process to teach you. So, why don’t we talk through how we came up with this system? – Sure. Well, after we again such a bad place, we decided, our church has a thing called money wise, where we could go meet with a mentoring couple about finances. And the biggest thing they taught us was, it’s so simple but is
to learn how to track our spending on a daily basis or on a regular basis.
– Seems pretty basic. – Yeah. And they gave us a spreadsheet to use that had both wants and needs, be
able to categorize things. And you can do it daily, weekly, monthly. For us when we do it monthly, it takes over a couple of hours and sometimes you forget things. Weekly it only takes about
20 minutes, maybe 30 at most. But daily it takes two to
three to five minutes at most. – (Danielle) What a shift.
– Yeah. We found that’s the most beneficial. Of course that doesn’t mean that we do it every single day, but
if you get in the habit of doing it daily, then
usually as Zig Ziglar says, “If you miss one day it’s a lapse, if you missed two days as a relapse, on the third day, it’s a collapse.” So, it’s okay to miss a day or two but if you’re going to do them daily don’t go past two or a couple days. – Yeah, I can’t get over how
it is under five minutes. And I used to dread our Saturdays, we have to go tag our expenses and I’m sure people are like, “How do you do that every week?” And then to think that we moved to daily. You would think oh, I
would not want to do that. But I’m telling you, I
should have timed it. We have been done under five minutes. – And it’s so easy to do it that way. – And what I love about the process is if we wait all week, I
forget something that I had done earlier that week. And so when we do it daily, I don’t forget what was just bought or what
transaction just happened. So I love that part of it. – And it also makes
sure that we both agree on what we’re spending. And we know each what
each other is spending on our own, and we’re always together. And if there’s something
we have a question about, it’s easy to address it when you’re doing it daily versus monthly. Well, I’m not sure what that was or I’m not sure why I did that. – Yeah. – And the good news is
we don’t necessarily have surprises, because
we have a certain amount that if I’m going to
spend over that amount we talk about it and vice versa. – Exactly. – So there’s not those shocking surprises. But there are some that
are under that amount that we go to the grocery store, we pick up things, we run errands. But we still have an opportunity to say, “Hey, what is this charge about?” And then that way, there’s
not this, oh my gosh, how did our credit card bill get to be so many thousands at the end of the month. – And it allows you to
see what you’re spending on groceries and eating out, and things where you can cut easily or make changes easily. And also obviously, you
can compare it to where you are with your budget for the month. It’s much easier to do that when you’re doing it daily versus waiting till the end of the month to see if you’ve stayed within your budget. So, highly encourage the daily. And here’s something we
just learned this past week. So, I was in New York
City Thursday morning, and we had not done them tonight before. And so I had a couple minutes of working at the hotel and I had
a couple of minutes. I called Danielle and
she was free and I said, “Hey, since we didn’t do
the expenses last night. Let’s do them real quick now instead of waiting till tonight. So, we opened up the bank account and all of a sudden there was a check in there that someone had
pre-printed a check somehow and got it through our checking account. And while it was only $27 what it did is people usually are testing to see if they can get a smaller amount through and then they’ll send a big amount. But it was amazing they were
able to get this through. So of course we call our bank, ended up on the phone for five hours. We had to shut our bank account down, we had to open a new bank account. We had to call all the companies that we have automatic withdrawals,
automatic deposit. So we spent five hours that day, but if we would have waited
to the end of the month, who knows what would have happened. Because whoever did this was seeing if they could get it through and then they were going to send
a big check through, according to the fraud
department of our bank. – We live in an era of fraud in America. Not just in banking, but in government, education, religion, food, even baseball. (phone vibrates) – What bothers me isn’t that fraud is not nice or that fraud is mean. It’s that for 15,000 years, fraud
(mumbles) and short-sighted thinking have never ever worked, not once. – Big lesson learned, we were so grateful that we did it on a daily basis. We could have been dealing
with a much bigger issue from a fraud perspective. – Yeah. If there was ever an argument of doing this on a daily basis, that
did it for us this week. So, we highly, highly encourage
you to get to that system. Let’s talk through how
this actually works, because I’m sure a lot of
people are sitting there going, “I’ve got an app for that
and it gives me this report. Why would I want to do your system when you’re literally tracking every expense?” – Yeah, we do. We open up our laptops, Danielle goes into the bank account and she looked at all the checks or anything that’s in our
bank account that day. And she tells me what the charge is and I actually enter in a spreadsheet. Then she does it with our credit cards. And of course if we’re spending cash we put that in, but we literally put it in line item by line
item in each category. And to Danielle’s point, there’s plenty of great apps out there. But what we found in apps is that they summarize everything too much or even if you put them in categories, I just found that it allowed me to be lazy and not give me the data
as granular as needed to make the best financial decisions. So, we started out with an app years ago and then realized that we
wasn’t giving us what we needed. And so we started this process. In addition to that, and
also when we were doing that we weren’t as aligned because it was easy, she would run the report
and I would look at it. But we really wouldn’t
talk about the details of what was in the report. And just doing a daily
by her bringing it up, telling me what the charge is and then me inputting it in the spreadsheet, made sure that we are talking
through all the expenses. And I know this sounds
at a very detailed level, but we were at a very
bad place financially and if you’re in a bad place financially you may be really good financially, you may be really great
at managing your finances and so this may be too detailed for you. But if you’re struggling
with your finances, this would be one of the
first things I would do is literally together, not just one of you going in and pulling up the bank account and then putting it in, while the other ones doing something else. You do it together, it’s crucial that you do this together.
– Thousand dollars for?
(phone rings) – Little flash money. – Flash money? Well, let’s see here. $2,000 for a suit, $200 for a tie. A requisition order for a Ferrari. – So where I’m reading off the charges and Russ is plugging it into the spreadsheet, I’m flagging certain
expenses that need follow up. And I’m also tagging
the expenses within the Bank of America, within the credit card. And that way it allows us to keep up, “Okay, where did we leave
off the night before or the day before?” in talking about those expenses. But it’s a good to-do list
when we’re going through it. If there was anything
that was questionable then I follow up with
that and look into it the very next day. So this spreadsheet below
is the same spreadsheet we’ve been using since 2006. Again, it’s broken up into
the needs and the wants and hopefully your wants are
not higher than your needs. And start tracking your expenses, and start off on a daily basis
because if you wait a week, again, you’re going to get frustrated, it takes too long. Yes, this is a tedious task. But like Russ said, “When we do it daily, you’re
done within five minutes.” – Good luck, and we hope
this is a great process to help you. – If you liked this video, give us a like, subscribe and you know my favorite part, take a screenshot
(camera shutters) and share it with your friends. And comment below if you are now ready to start holding yourself accountable by tracking your expenses. Thanks so much for watching, and we’ll see you in the next video. – Goodbye everyone.


  • Want to eliminate money arguments but not sure how? Would you implement this solution?

  • Fortunately, my husband and I are well-matched when it comes to finances. We are both borderline stingy. This has helped keep us out of debt. Your video would be very useful for couples that don't handle money well.

  • Wow I know budgeting is important and it helps you save money but, kudos to you guys for doing daily budgets.I'm currently doing monthly budgets. Thanks for sharing.

  • Always such great advice!! You guys are fantastic! Cheers!

  • I love this so much!!! My husband and I almost killed each other!

  • Love this, saving this for later too! 🙂

  • Excellent advice as always!! Not just for newlyweds (I've been with my hubs for 25 years and this was still helpful to us too!) Thanks for sharing!! ❤

  • We have very different money personalities so this was really helpful. Thank you

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